I'm not gonna lie, as an only child living in the middle of nowhere (and by that I mean actually in the middle of nowhere - it would take you about 45 minutes to walk to the nearest bus stop), I probably did have it a touch more difficult to grow up than the rest of the children around me. I didn't go to kindergarten (my little feet were definitely not ready for every day hiking at that age), so when I started my primary school I was thrilled (and scared). I made loads of friends but looking back I was lacking a defence mechanism against mean kids. And that somehow dragged on with me throughout my teens and obviously had an impact on my self-esteem. I was a good egg, but I was a little cracked. It didn't help that my wardrobe contained about 3 outfits (on the good days). My day to day uniform was a pair of camo trousers (super baggy), a white vest (I thought they made my boobs look bigger), a brown bobbly cardigan, a pentagram on a leather string (don't even ask) and a black Miss Sporty eyeliner (the punk influence of the early 00's). I also cut my hair SHORT (I really do question whether I had any decent friends at that point - why has on one told me not to do this, for christ's sake?!). And my first 'boyfriend' was a dare (nah, it wasn't my dare). Yup, I was one of those kids.
Fast forward 10 years and I would say I turned out just fine. When I was 17 I decided I was going to live in the UK - so I went ahead and when I was 19 I made the big move. I've got a degree in tourism and now I have got a decent job. I live in a small but cosy flat with a caring boyfriend and an adorable (although a little evil) cat. I still cry and over-think things, sometimes I eat food that gives me spots and sometimes I wear too much blusher. But I also have got friends who laugh at my jokes and family that supports me. See, even though I was a little wreck of a teenage girl (jesus, I was embarrassing, wasn't I!), I turned out perfectly fine with a pinch of awkwardness here and there.
Now don't get me wrong - I don't wish to change anything about my teenage years or my childhood. I strongly believe that it was all worth it and made me a stronger person however I do wish that I wasn't such a worrier. I was mainly worried about not turning out okay. But trust me - you will. All the tough experiences reach the bottleneck at some point and then turn into an armour for the rest of your life! Let me just say this - it would have helped not cutting my hair ridiculously short (and maybe buying a few more tops, non-camo trousers and swapping the black liner for at least a brown one!), but hey - we all learn from our mistake!
PS: Yes, feel free to laugh at my pictures, that's okay too.
What would YOU say to your younger self?
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